Engagement

No!!! dont jump to conclusions guys and gals, im not announcing my engagement on my blog, well not yet anyway, just wanted to blog about the subject since it seems everybody i know is getting engaged right left and center.Why is there a sudden rush of people getting engaged? i dont know, maybe because most of my friends are around my age and for those that are not married yet or engaged it is about time kut, hehehe, ye laa, kita dah tua, bila lagi nak membina masjid kan? Or maybe is it just because since the middle of the year ive been more sensitive to these type of things since im now in a relationship that *touch wood* will lead us to the altar... * i know, i know, its just an expression, Islam mana ader altar *

I always thought getting engaged was something very big and people should know about it but it seems now banyak orang tak nak bagitau dah bertunang, semua nak senyap-senyap jer... oh well, maybe the perception has changed. My mum (yes, i DO talk and discuss stuff with my mum and sometimes i complain to her too) says that maybe the reason that now bertunang tidaklah digembar-gemburkan is because in this time and age, banyak lak kes putus-putus tunang ni... thats what she says laa, so if you dont gembar-gemburkan it, if anything untoward happens, takder ler malu sangat.. well thats what she says laaa... hear me out, im not wishing this on anybody, neither friend nor foe, but i think i understand where she is coming from.
understanding and agreeing are totally different things however, because i dont agree with the practice of only telling your close family and friends. i have a close friend, lets call him A, who got engaged and according to customs wasnt allowed to ikut to the girls house so he spent the day with me waiting in anticipation of the answer from belah perempuan, we spent the day.. well it doesnt matter what we were doing at the time laa but when his father called him to tell him semua dah beres you could literally see his face light up, he was so happy, even thought the reply wasnt in any doubt, lega rasanyer for him bila dapat the call from his father, you never know kan? After he recieved the good news he started telling everyone that he met (yang dia kenal laa and some yang tak berapa kenal pun) yang dia dah bertunang. Dia dah selamat diijab kabulkan pun and is happily married now but i was grateful to share the experience with him waiting in anticipation of the answer (well more him than me, i was just along to keep him company and restrain him from doing anything foolish like driving over to belah perempuan and waiting outside the door, hehehe) I was also his best man during his wedding but i will leave that to blog about another time. But this was a few years back, lets move on to something more recent then..

Ada pulak another close friend of mine, hereby christened H, that recently got engaged. He told me after he got engaged and i dont really blame him laaa, dia dah duduk kat kl while im still stuck in ipoh (hopefully not for much longer) and we hardly keep in touch now tapi kiter memang member kamcing ler, like my friend i mentioned above, kamcing giler ler, so anyway,he gave me a call out of the blue and we talked and i could sense that he wanted to tell me something but was beating around the bush so, I , out of the kindness of my heart to save him from a higher phone bill (hehehe another interesting subject, phone bills, wow, banyak lak idea nak blog ni) cut through all the *ahem* crap and asked him jokingly "Apahal ni H, tiba-tiba jer call, hang dah kahwin ke?" and suprise suprise, he told me actually he dah bertunang just a few days ago and dia nak bagitau ler... i was stunned. I later found out that he was the type that didnt want everyone to know, only close friends, and even though im flattered that he called to tell me personally i dont agree with him at that. His reason? well i asked him coz sometimes im just a busybody and he told me "bertunang jer, satgi kahwin bagitau ler semua orang" That was a few months back.

Even more recently, i found out that another friend of mine dah bertunang, F, through someone else and he got engaged 2 months before i even found out!!! ni lagi satu.. bila tanya siap cakap "mana hang dapat berita ni??" adoi!!! nasib baik dapat confirmation from sumber-sumber yang boleh dipercayai... well, i guess im in no position to judge, to each his own...


Well there you have it, 3 different people getting engaged and 3 different ways they go about it (as in who they tell and/or their reaction)... some of you may be wondering how i would do it ( and kepada yang tak wonder tu, im still gonna tell you) and i have asked her and she says it would be ok so i think i would tell everyone i know, bila jumpa and even announce it on this blog, after the fact of course, but if anyone asks before and we have the date set, ill tell them when. The reason, well, me and H once had a long talk about bertunang and its significance and we totally agreed that apart from being a ceremony where it is formally asked about the availability of the bride to be (or is that merisik? not sure laa), dibincangkan how long the engagement would be, dikompromi how much the hantaran would be (not sure about compromise though, bukan they just set a price and then we pay ke? hehehe) and all that it is ALSO (an important point to me) a ceremony to tell the world that the girl/guy is spoken for and thou shall not trespass, maybe i could have put it another way but thats the gist of it laa. Or i could say that it means "Yang disana dah berpunya, jangan siapa-siapa gatal nak kacau kang ader yang masuk wad karang." Personally i still think that it was one of the main reasons that bertunang was actually invented in the first place, to lay claim first in the olden days but im no historian so.... summing up, ill probably be more like A but maybe in a larger scale, not like H and definitely not like F well thats all folks, my thoughts on engagement and how i would go about it *fingers crossed* in the not too distant future.. ciao..